She couldn't even revel in her newly returned face as she settled in for the night in her bathrobe and pajamas. The day had been physically and emotionally exhausting. She was ready for it to be over.
But there was still the matter of the picture that had apparently appeared in her pocket today. Asami avoided thinking about Dad as much as she could. She told herself that she had forgiven him, and that was that.
Yet she couldn't look at his picture without feeling sick.
Then there had been that thing today. Tearing holes in reality and attacking everything around it. And she had found Korra running right at it. Of course she had. That was what Korra did.
But it was scary. It was scary in a rare kind of way that forced rational thought to scatter.
Asami took a heavy, shuddering breath as she settled on the side of the bed. Her eyes ached, but she didn't want to cry here. Not after the day they had all had.
Korra couldn't believe it was over, just like that. Everybody back where they ought to be, a cure for the pokification, and just in time for that holiday people kept mentioning.
Not that her mind was anywhere near holidays at the moment.
She was just finishing up getting ready for bed, happy to be able to shower without smelling like wet dog. She hadn't exactly missed just how much the giant thing had effected Asami. The way the other woman had pulled her away from it...
It had been a year for Asami, but that didn't mean much. Korra knew all too well how long things could stay with a person. And she wasn't sure that Asami had really talked it out with anyone. She hoped, but....Asami had a way of keeping things in. She'd wanted to talk to her about it, but hadn't been sure how to bring it up.
She came out of the bathroom in a t-shirt and loose pajama bottoms, and slipped onto the bed next to Asami.
"Hey." Asking if she was okay just seemed dumb. Instead, she just reached for the other woman's hand.
"Hey," Asami managed, her voice constricted. She didn't hesitate to lean over and rest her head against Korra's shoulder. It was a moment before she spoke.
Korra leaned back against Asami, twining their fingers together.
"Yeah." There was a picture of her dad in her pack - a good one, too, where he's smiling and lifting a hand to the camera like he's waving to her. It had been a pretty big surprise, but not a bad one. She already kind of missed her folks, even though she spent plenty of time apart from them. It was knowing she couldn't just see them or talk to them when she wanted to.
A picture helped, a little bit
"Guess you did, too, huh?"
And judging by Asami's voice, she'd bet it was the same kind of picture. She doubted they had the same reaction.
Korra understands that all too well. And she wasn't like Asami, she didn't bury things deeply. Okay sure, some things, but even then they weren't buried from herself. Not for long.
Her arm went around the other woman and squeezed her firmly, and Korra rested her head against Asami's. Her father had been an awful man. And her only family. There was so much there, and she had a feeling Asami hadn't made much progress in coming to terms with it.
And that broke her heart. Asami didn't deserve to be carrying that pain around inside her for so long. She'd been there for her so many times, now it was Korra's turn.
"Maybe it isn't right now. But it will be." Because Asami was one of the strongest people she knew. "Have you...talked to anybody? About any of it?"
"Not really." Elsa would probably have been open to it, but she had enough of her own problems.
It was the same reason Asami had never really brought it up with Korra.
"It's just never been a good time." Her perspective on when it's a "good time" to talk about these things was, admittedly, skewed, but Asami didn't really understand that.
That's what Korra had been afraid of. Her gut tightened and she felt sick on Asami's behalf. She wouldn't say it, she knew it wouldn't do any good for Asami to hear it, but her father had been a terrible person. He'd done terrible things, and Asami was the one carrying them around.
And she couldn't even imagine how the events of the final battle in Republic City had been eating at her. Because the man had still been her father, and Korra knew that the feelings there were more complicated than she could easily comprehend.
"It is now." Her voice was quiet and warm. "You can talk to me about anything. What happened...everything that happened..." She tightened her hold on Asami. "You shouldn't keep it buried inside."
It was just another kind of poison, draining and damaging deep below the surface in ways it was hard to see.
"Family and feelings are way too complicated for there to be any one way anybody's supposed to feel about anything. Who cares what other people think you're supposed to think? It's not about other people. It's about you."
And her dad. Which was the root of the whole issue, as far as Korra was concerned. She'd met Asami when they were both pretty well adults. She didn't know a ton about how she was raised, but she knew enough to pick up that family obligation and all of that were probably a part of it.
Which only made all of this that much messier and confusing for Asami.
"It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to feel something totally different. But having bad feelings about it, about him....that's okay."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bent_the_world) wrote2017-04-30 01:30 pm
backdated to the night after mewssingno
She couldn't even revel in her newly returned face as she settled in for the night in her bathrobe and pajamas. The day had been physically and emotionally exhausting. She was ready for it to be over.
But there was still the matter of the picture that had apparently appeared in her pocket today. Asami avoided thinking about Dad as much as she could. She told herself that she had forgiven him, and that was that.
Yet she couldn't look at his picture without feeling sick.
Then there had been that thing today. Tearing holes in reality and attacking everything around it. And she had found Korra running right at it. Of course she had. That was what Korra did.
But it was scary. It was scary in a rare kind of way that forced rational thought to scatter.
Asami took a heavy, shuddering breath as she settled on the side of the bed. Her eyes ached, but she didn't want to cry here. Not after the day they had all had.
no subject
Not that her mind was anywhere near holidays at the moment.
She was just finishing up getting ready for bed, happy to be able to shower without smelling like wet dog. She hadn't exactly missed just how much the giant thing had effected Asami. The way the other woman had pulled her away from it...
It had been a year for Asami, but that didn't mean much. Korra knew all too well how long things could stay with a person. And she wasn't sure that Asami had really talked it out with anyone. She hoped, but....Asami had a way of keeping things in. She'd wanted to talk to her about it, but hadn't been sure how to bring it up.
She came out of the bathroom in a t-shirt and loose pajama bottoms, and slipped onto the bed next to Asami.
"Hey." Asking if she was okay just seemed dumb. Instead, she just reached for the other woman's hand.
no subject
"You get a picture?"
no subject
"Yeah." There was a picture of her dad in her pack - a good one, too, where he's smiling and lifting a hand to the camera like he's waving to her. It had been a pretty big surprise, but not a bad one. She already kind of missed her folks, even though she spent plenty of time apart from them. It was knowing she couldn't just see them or talk to them when she wanted to.
A picture helped, a little bit
"Guess you did, too, huh?"
And judging by Asami's voice, she'd bet it was the same kind of picture. She doubted they had the same reaction.
no subject
"I can't even look at it." Her voice quivered as she spoke. "I thought..." She turned her face into Korra's shoulder like she wanted to hide.
"I thought it was okay."
no subject
Korra understands that all too well. And she wasn't like Asami, she didn't bury things deeply. Okay sure, some things, but even then they weren't buried from herself. Not for long.
Her arm went around the other woman and squeezed her firmly, and Korra rested her head against Asami's. Her father had been an awful man. And her only family. There was so much there, and she had a feeling Asami hadn't made much progress in coming to terms with it.
And that broke her heart. Asami didn't deserve to be carrying that pain around inside her for so long. She'd been there for her so many times, now it was Korra's turn.
"Maybe it isn't right now. But it will be." Because Asami was one of the strongest people she knew. "Have you...talked to anybody? About any of it?"
no subject
It was the same reason Asami had never really brought it up with Korra.
"It's just never been a good time." Her perspective on when it's a "good time" to talk about these things was, admittedly, skewed, but Asami didn't really understand that.
no subject
And she couldn't even imagine how the events of the final battle in Republic City had been eating at her. Because the man had still been her father, and Korra knew that the feelings there were more complicated than she could easily comprehend.
"It is now." Her voice was quiet and warm. "You can talk to me about anything. What happened...everything that happened..." She tightened her hold on Asami. "You shouldn't keep it buried inside."
It was just another kind of poison, draining and damaging deep below the surface in ways it was hard to see.
no subject
"I don't know what I'm supposed to think about any of it. I don't... I wonder if I only told him that I forgave him because I thought..."
She was certain Korra could fill in the blanks.
no subject
And her dad. Which was the root of the whole issue, as far as Korra was concerned. She'd met Asami when they were both pretty well adults. She didn't know a ton about how she was raised, but she knew enough to pick up that family obligation and all of that were probably a part of it.
Which only made all of this that much messier and confusing for Asami.
"It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to feel something totally different. But having bad feelings about it, about him....that's okay."