[Cissnei isn't the only one still bothered by what had happened in the nightmare forest.]
[Korra's fears have never been so stark and clear before. She'd seen herself, in her middle age, and the life had been so nice...but not hers. It was some hell she'd been trapped in. It's too close to real life, too much a possibility.]
[As always, when she's feeling troubled, Korra's at the water's edge. Iqniq is with her, and even his presence is mildly unsettling. She loves the Arcanine. He's her constant companion, her sidekick through thick and thin. And he's part of this world. There are so many good things in this world, so many possibilities. And she's seen it as a nightmare. She doesn't want that. She knows she's trapped here but she doesn't want it to feel like a trap, she's going to go crazy if she feels like that much longer.]
[She slows as she sees Cissnei down the beach. She hasn't asked about what happened to the other woman, she doesn't need to ask to know it wasn't great.]
[Shuriken had trotted over the moment she smelled Korra and Iqniq, nodding to the Arcanine before she bumps against Korra's legs in greeting. Her trainer is a bit slower to realize, even after the other young woman speaks, blinking out of her thoughts and looking over.]
Korra. Hey.
[She manages a faint smile now that she's back in the moment, sitting up and drawing her knees up so she can loosely wrap her arms around them.]
[Shuriken rubs against her hand before trotting over to Cissnei as Korra goes, settling on the ground on the opposite side of Reno who..is still passed right out.]
It really is lovely..I never got much of a chance to visit back home.
[One time. She had visited the beach one time..with Zack.]
[Korra flops down, stretching out her legs and propping her arms behind her.]
It was really messed up. I...it was like twenty or thirty years in the future. And I was living here somewhere, in a cute little house, living a cute little Pokemon life and I couldn't stop. I couldn't leave that house.
[Korra settling beside her drew Cissnei's attention from the water, and woke Reno up, the young woman watching her companion with a gentle look while Reno stretched and yawned before coming over to flop across Korra's lap.]
A mundane existence. [It's said softly, Cissnei completely understanding how terrifying something like that could be. While she was enjoying herself in this place it was..the idea of staying here, growing old here without any real purpose was scary.] Mine...I saw someone I cared about d..die. I--when it happened, back home, I wasn't there. I didn't arrive until after it was all said and done but that forest it..it created something, pieced together what probably happened and..
[As she spoke, Cissnei's voice cracked and she stopped, shaking her head as Shuriken let out a quiet whine. She reached out to rest a hand on the Furfrou's head, smiling weakly.]
[Korra winces in sympathy. Her own nightmare sounds mundane next to Cissnei's. Not that it had felt that way, at the time, and it's left it's mark on her, but... there were worse things she could have seen and gone through.]
I'm really sorry you had to go through that. I wish...I could do something. I know there's nothing anybody can do, but I wish there was.
We both had a pretty terrible time in that forest, Korra. [It was said softly, Cissnei reaching out to pet Reno's head now.] I'd be lying if I said the idea of being stuck here long term didn't scare me. I'm not use to such a normal life. I've been enjoying it and I've met some wonderful friends but...this isn't the life I'm use to. At all.
[Hand slipping away from her Vulpix who just yawned widely, Cissnei finally looked at Korra with a sad expression.]
I wish I could have done something to help you while we were stuck in there, too. I wish I could have done more than just...just sit idly, caught up in fear.
Everybody was trapped. We couldn't do anything. I just kept trying to get out, but...
[She buries her face in her hands.]
I don't want to live my life like I'm in a prison. Like...like my life is on hold. I've been in this limbo ever since...
[Raking back her hair, Korra lifts her head and swallows hard.]
My girlfriend was here. Kaede was hers. We'd just gotten together, back home. And we were here before...but then I went home and came back and didn't remember anything. And so we started over. But like two months later...she went home. And then she came back again, but she didn't remember so we started over again, and then she was gone in another two months.
[She's never just laid it all out there like that. But she's been stuck since losing Asami again, like she's just going through the motions waiting for her to come back. And terrified she never will.]
[She'd been alone in that house in the nightmare, after all.]
[Cissnei had suspected that something had happened, that Korra had lost someone very close to her and there had been clues. Kaede had a different trainer's name registered to her, after all.
But hearing it all laid out like this made her heart ache for the other young woman.
She couldn't imagine going through that once let alone twice. And here Korra was, still pushing through; still moving forward despite everything she had been through.]
...I can't imagine...Korra, I'm....I'm so sorry.
[It comes out in a whisper, Cissnei's feet sliding in the sand as she loosens the grip she has on them with her arms, reaching out to rest a hand on Korra's shoulder instead.]
This place hasn't exactly been full of happiness for you...I wish you hadn't gone through that.
I was so happy when she came back. It was like...everything would be fine, here, because we were together. We could have a big adventure here, and we'd be together and even if we wouldn't remember when we went home...
And I think about that a lot. I won't remember this. It's a vacation from life. A vacation that doesn't end, but I'm not missing anything back home. I've just been stuck for a long time.
[She glances at Cissnei, shaking her head in frustration. The nightmare experience had brought it all so clearly into focus for her. She leans a little into the other woman's hand, all full of stirred emotions.]
She's been gone way longer than we were ever together.
I have to admit, a part of me still wonders if time really does stop back home. Sometimes I feel like everything is just continuing without me and..and that no one even notices I'm not there.
[Because living in the shadows, so to speak, was how she had done things. How the Turks had always done things.
Would they even realize she was missing?]
Still...having her come and go like that couldn't have been easy. Even if you were only officially together for a few days before she left, pain is still pain.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bent_the_world) wrote2017-04-30 01:30 pm
no subject
[Korra's fears have never been so stark and clear before. She'd seen herself, in her middle age, and the life had been so nice...but not hers. It was some hell she'd been trapped in. It's too close to real life, too much a possibility.]
[As always, when she's feeling troubled, Korra's at the water's edge. Iqniq is with her, and even his presence is mildly unsettling. She loves the Arcanine. He's her constant companion, her sidekick through thick and thin. And he's part of this world. There are so many good things in this world, so many possibilities. And she's seen it as a nightmare. She doesn't want that. She knows she's trapped here but she doesn't want it to feel like a trap, she's going to go crazy if she feels like that much longer.]
[She slows as she sees Cissnei down the beach. She hasn't asked about what happened to the other woman, she doesn't need to ask to know it wasn't great.]
Hey.
no subject
Korra. Hey.
[She manages a faint smile now that she's back in the moment, sitting up and drawing her knees up so she can loosely wrap her arms around them.]
Enjoying the beach?
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[She bends to say hello to Shuriken, before padding over to stand beside Cissnei.]
The ocean's nice today. I'm...glad to be around the ocean, I guess.
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It really is lovely..I never got much of a chance to visit back home.
[One time. She had visited the beach one time..with Zack.]
...Are you doing alright?
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[It's an honest response. Korra shrugs, hands in the pockets of her wide legged shorts.]
I guess I've just got a lot on my mind. That...that whole thing stirred up a lot of things. Sort of put it real clearly.
[Now she just needs to figure out what to do about it. She likes problems she can punch a lot better than complex existential dilemmas.]
What about you?
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...I don't want to fall asleep. Every time I start to, I worry about seeing everything again.
[She'd slept maybe two to three hours at a time since they got out of the forest and even that was fitful.]
It brought up memories that I didn't..that I had been trying to forget.
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[Korra flops down, stretching out her legs and propping her arms behind her.]
It was really messed up. I...it was like twenty or thirty years in the future. And I was living here somewhere, in a cute little house, living a cute little Pokemon life and I couldn't stop. I couldn't leave that house.
no subject
A mundane existence. [It's said softly, Cissnei completely understanding how terrifying something like that could be. While she was enjoying herself in this place it was..the idea of staying here, growing old here without any real purpose was scary.] Mine...I saw someone I cared about d..die. I--when it happened, back home, I wasn't there. I didn't arrive until after it was all said and done but that forest it..it created something, pieced together what probably happened and..
[As she spoke, Cissnei's voice cracked and she stopped, shaking her head as Shuriken let out a quiet whine. She reached out to rest a hand on the Furfrou's head, smiling weakly.]
That forest wasn't kind to any of us.
no subject
[Korra winces in sympathy. Her own nightmare sounds mundane next to Cissnei's. Not that it had felt that way, at the time, and it's left it's mark on her, but... there were worse things she could have seen and gone through.]
I'm really sorry you had to go through that. I wish...I could do something. I know there's nothing anybody can do, but I wish there was.
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[Hand slipping away from her Vulpix who just yawned widely, Cissnei finally looked at Korra with a sad expression.]
I wish I could have done something to help you while we were stuck in there, too. I wish I could have done more than just...just sit idly, caught up in fear.
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[She buries her face in her hands.]
I don't want to live my life like I'm in a prison. Like...like my life is on hold. I've been in this limbo ever since...
[Raking back her hair, Korra lifts her head and swallows hard.]
My girlfriend was here. Kaede was hers. We'd just gotten together, back home. And we were here before...but then I went home and came back and didn't remember anything. And so we started over. But like two months later...she went home. And then she came back again, but she didn't remember so we started over again, and then she was gone in another two months.
[She's never just laid it all out there like that. But she's been stuck since losing Asami again, like she's just going through the motions waiting for her to come back. And terrified she never will.]
[She'd been alone in that house in the nightmare, after all.]
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But hearing it all laid out like this made her heart ache for the other young woman.
She couldn't imagine going through that once let alone twice. And here Korra was, still pushing through; still moving forward despite everything she had been through.]
...I can't imagine...Korra, I'm....I'm so sorry.
[It comes out in a whisper, Cissnei's feet sliding in the sand as she loosens the grip she has on them with her arms, reaching out to rest a hand on Korra's shoulder instead.]
This place hasn't exactly been full of happiness for you...I wish you hadn't gone through that.
no subject
And I think about that a lot. I won't remember this. It's a vacation from life. A vacation that doesn't end, but I'm not missing anything back home. I've just been stuck for a long time.
[She glances at Cissnei, shaking her head in frustration. The nightmare experience had brought it all so clearly into focus for her. She leans a little into the other woman's hand, all full of stirred emotions.]
She's been gone way longer than we were ever together.
no subject
[Because living in the shadows, so to speak, was how she had done things. How the Turks had always done things.
Would they even realize she was missing?]
Still...having her come and go like that couldn't have been easy. Even if you were only officially together for a few days before she left, pain is still pain.